The Homeschool Answer Book with Tricia Goyer

The One Homeschool Subject We Forget to Teach

Homeschool

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By Tricia Goyer

Dear Homeschool Parent,

If we were to look at your lesson planner right now, we’d probably see a lot of subjects: Math, History, Science, maybe some Latin or Coding. But there is one “subject” that most of us are teaching our children every single day, whether it’s written in the planner or not. We are teaching them how to strive.

We teach it when we stress-clean the kitchen before the co-op meets. We teach it when we panic because our 3rd grader is “behind” in reading compared to the neighbor’s kid. We teach it when we end the day exhausted, feeling like we didn’t do enough, love enough, or check off enough boxes.

As I wrote in Walk It Out, “If we aren’t careful, we can spend our whole lives running on a treadmill of performance, hoping that if we just run fast enough, we will get to where we want to go. But God doesn’t call us to run on a treadmill; He calls us to walk with Him.”

We are often running that treadmill, hoping to produce “perfect” Christian children. But the Bible offers a better way.

The “Old Covenant” Homeschool

In my Bible reading this week (Hebrews 8–10), I saw a picture of the Old Covenant priests. 

Hebrews 10:11 says: “And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.” (ESV)

Does that sound like your homeschool day? Standing daily. Offering repeatedly.

  • Repeating the same math concept for the 50th time.
  • Repeating the same lecture about kindness.
  • Repeating the same chores that get undone five minutes later.

Under this “Old System” of homeschooling, we feel like the weight of our children’s future—their education, their character, their salvation—rests entirely on our shoulders. We think if we just find the perfect curriculum or the perfect schedule, we can “fix” them.

But the Bible says that kind of striving “can never take away sins.” And frankly, it can’t take away bad attitudes or learning struggles either.

As Sally Clarkson reminds us, “We cannot create a perfect life for our children, but we can lead them to the One who is perfect” (The Mission of Motherhood, 67).

The Better Way: The Mediator

The Good News of Hebrews is that we have a Mediator. Jesus came, did the work perfectly, and then—this is the best part—He sat down.

“But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God.” (Hebrews 10:12, ESV)

He sat down because the work was finished. So, how do we bring this “Finished Work” into our homeschool chaos? How do we stop striving and start trusting?

1. Resign as the Holy Spirit

You can grade their grammar, but you cannot grade their hearts. Striving happens when we try to force spiritual fruit in our kids. We nag, we lecture, we worry.

In Calming Angry Kids, I noted the moment I realized my mediation was failing: “I realized I couldn’t ‘calm’ my kids’ hearts by force. I could only model peace and point them to the Prince of Peace.”

Stop Striving: Do the faithful work of planting seeds (1 Corinthians 3:6), but let God be the One who makes them grow. You are the parent; He is the Mediator.

2. Ditch the “Comparison Curriculum”

Striving thrives on comparison. We look at Instagram and see perfectly organized craft rooms and nature walks, and we feel less-than. But as homeschooling pioneer Ruth Beechick once said, “The goal is not to duplicate the school system at home, but to help your child learn in the way God designed them.”

Stop Striving: Remember that God gave your specific children to you—not to that influencer on Instagram. Trust His assignment over the internet’s expectations. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand…” (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).

3. Model Rest, Not Just Hustle

If our kids only ever see us anxious and busy, they will learn that God is a taskmaster. But if they see us close the books when things get heated, make a cup of tea, and say, “I need Jesus right now,” they learn something far more valuable than algebra. They learn where to go when they are weak.

In The Grumble-Free Year, I wrote, “Peace isn’t the absence of trouble; it’s the presence of Christ in the midst of it” (Goyer, The Grumble-Free Year, 112).

This Week’s Challenge

This week, when you feel the tension rising—when the math tears start or the toddler dumps the sensory bin on the carpet—I want you to whisper three words to yourself: “Jesus sat down.”

The most important work (your salvation and theirs) is already handled by your Mediator. You don’t have to earn an A+ in “Perfect Homeschool Mom” today. As Sarah Mackenzie encourages, “Rest is not an optional extra for the homeschool mom; it is essential” (Teaching from Rest, 21). Stop striving, friend. You are doing a great job.

The “Answerbook” Application

Question: Where am I acting like the “Old Covenant” priest—standing daily and trying to fix things in my own strength?

Answer: Pick one struggle in your homeschool today (a difficult subject, a character issue, a messy house). Instead of trying to “power through” it, stop and pray: “Lord, be the Mediator here. I can’t fix this, but You can.”

Resources to Help You Stop Striving

This content first appeared on Tricia Goyer and is used here with permission. To view the original visit: https://triciagoyer.com/the-one-homeschool-subject-we-forget-to-teach/
 

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